Perez Homer: Greek Mythology Gossip Blog Assignment

Due Monday, July 9

Lady Gaga wears a dress made of Q-Tips!

Brangelina adopt quintuplets from East Timor!

Believe it or not: Justin spotted wearing Selena’s shoes!

Celebrity gossip is everywhere these days, but it’s nothing new. In fact, classical texts prove that human society has always been hungry for tantalizing stories of scandals, love affairs, and the dirty deeds of gods and mortals. Greek mythology provides some of the foundational metaphors of western culture as well as stories that would set the blogosphere on fire even today. 

Your task is to be an ancient Greek celebrity gossip blogger. Write a creative blog post about any of the characters in your myth, human or mortal. Your post must contain accurate and specific references to the character.

  • Use your imagination – fill in the details as though the character is a contemporary celebrity
  • Include a creative headline
  • Include an appropriate image that relates to your post, and write a clear and informative caption (1-2 senteces)
  • Write in a playful, casual tone but use correct spelling and grammar

Example:

Helen Dishes the Dirt on Oprah

It girl Helen, a.k.a. “The Face that Launched a Thousand Ships” sat in Queen O’s chair yesterday and dished the dirt about the stable of international suitors who have been literally killing each other trying to woo her. Theseus, Menelaus, Paris – who is next in this lineup of eligible bachelors from around the Agean? Now that Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have split, we think that this Pirate of the Carribean might use his seafaring stardom to seek her hand.

In her slinky Dior robe and jewelled Manolos, Helen really is a bombshell, and just as explosive. She’s the diva that men desire and women despise. “You know, it’s not easy being this beautiful,” she confided. “Imagine – just as I was getting comfortable with my hubby Menelaus in our Mycenaean palace, Paris shows up and drags me off to Troy! And now ten years later, thousands of soldiers on both sides are dead, the women of Troy hate me, and to tell you the truth, there’s not much spark between me and Paris these days.” You poor thing, Helen, must be so tough being you!

If the woman who caused the Trojan War can get sympathy from anyone, it’s Oprah. Honey, begging does not look good on you!

Oprah, always asking the tough questions, confronted Helen about her decision to leave with Paris. Helen put the blame sqaurely on Aphrodite’s shoulders. “I mgiht be the most beautiful woman in the world, but who am I to argue with the Goddess of Love?” Does this woman deserve our pity? Will she go back home to domestic bliss with Menelaus or will the ugliness of the bloody Trojan War continue to overshadow Helen’s beauty?

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